Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
