Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
