Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
