I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize