You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
