Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
