Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
