Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
