In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dick very happy bro
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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