What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize