spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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