i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
