ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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