i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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