All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
