He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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