I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize