I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
