Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize