I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
