Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
