I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
