How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
