K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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