i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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