How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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