susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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