i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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