Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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