she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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