and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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