My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
