Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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