I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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