It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
