I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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