physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just googled if crying burns calories
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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