Where did you get a picture of my penis
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
