Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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