If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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