none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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