i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
