I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
