Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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