i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
