All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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