Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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