Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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