We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Are we still banned from the library?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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