I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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