im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
