You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
