you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Did I show you my penis last night?
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.