So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight