So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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