I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex