I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
