He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
