don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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