I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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