Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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