i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
